Monday, November 07, 2005

His Noodly Appendage

I have pre-election jitters on behalf of Maine Won't Discriminate, Reform Ohio Now, and the gubernatorial races in VA and NJ. Polls show us ahead in all four races, but given the other side's GOTV discipline, questionable vote-counting tactics, and latest round of dirty tricks we can't rest till it's over. Maine has been through three of these civil rights referenda already, each time seeing an organized minority triumph over the wishes of the majority.

To take my mind off things I'm posting this hilarious and true account of how one man is fighting the intelligent design crowd... by demanding equal time for the theory of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. If you haven't seen it yet, go read:

[M]any people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don't understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

I'm sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. …

Highly recommended.

UPDATE: This just in! Even more paralyzing good fun can be had from this short video about Harlan McCraney, Presidential Speechalist. Warning: Do not drink liquids while viewing, or you will snort them through your nose.

And don't forget to vote!

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