The gospel according to Emo Phillips

A find by Kaleja over at Kos.

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
I said, "Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
He replied, "religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
He replied, "Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
He replied, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
He replied, "Baptist."
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
He replied, "Baptist Church of God."
I said, "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
He replied, "Reformed Baptist Church of God."
I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
He replied, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
So I said, "Die, heretic!" and pushed him off the bridge.