The Declaration of Dependence

In honor of the Patriot Act debates going on in the Senate today, it is fitting to highlight Mark Bradley's Pusillanimous Proclamation of the Fifty United States:

When, in the course of Divinely Ordered Events, it becomes expedient for a distracted and terrified people to renounce the political independence which has long plagued and bedeviled them, and to assume among the powerless, the complacent, and the meek of the world the rightfully subservient place to which God and his Earthly Minions have justifiably consigned them, an indecent contempt for the opinions of mankind absolves them from any responsibility of having to declare the causes which impel them to this shameful, yet exhilarating, abdication.

We hold these generally accepted talking points to be self-evident . . . .

Most germane. Oh, and it's time to contact our senators again:

Snowe: (202) 224-5344
Collins: (202) 224-2523